Love Letters
When I wrote my recent ranking of Anoushka Shankar's albums, I had not yet listened to her most recent release, "Love Letters."
It belongs in the top three, maybe even at the very top of the list. It represents Ms. Shankar's most personal work, and, aside from "Land of Gold," her most meaningful.
Like "Land of Gold," it is a thematically cohesive album, with all but one or two tracks clearly on the same theme. While "Land of Gold" reached out with compassion toward refugees and tried to step into their shoes, "Love Letters" invites listeners to share Ms. Shankar's heartache and anxiety after her husband left her for another woman. Track by track, we are immersed in her thoughts and feelings. It's the musical equivalent of a punch to the gut, in a good way. Imagine the pain and anger in the song "Burn" from Hamilton, then multiply it by 20 due to the immediacy of it actually being written by a woman who has suffered infidelity, and put that level of anguish into four separate, unique songs. "Love Letters" does not make for easy listening, nor does it make you feel good. But it is honest, and heartfelt, and therefore it is a great piece of art.
I say four of its six songs contain anguish for a reason. "Those Words" is the only song on the album without English lyrics, so I am not in a place to critique it. Its haunting, wistful melody and performance certainly fits in with the tone of the rest of the album, regardless of the Punjabi lyrics' meaning. And "In This Mouth," the final track on the album, conveys something different. something softer and more ambiguous, than the rest-- but I'll get to that later.
The first song, "Bright Eyes," wastes no time cutting to the core of things. I think you'd have to have a heart of stone to listen to it without wanting to weep for Anoushka. While she's not the one doing the singing (on this or any of the album's other songs), she wrote the lyrics herself, and beautiful, inventive sitar playing underscores their emotional power:
"I know she's younger than me,
But darling, tell me--
Do you call her 'Bright Eyes' too?"
"Bright Eyes" also warns her husband that if he tired of her and was unable to remain faithful, he isn't likely to be contented with his new relationship, either.
"Now are you haunted by me?
...
What's gotten old about me?
...
But repetition lies ahead
For you."
Up next, "Lovable" leaves aside the questions about the husband's new relationship to expose the damage the infidelity has done to Anoushka's view of herself, the question of how to uphold her dignity in the face of such cruel abandonment:
"Beautiful,
If you don't see me.
Wonderful,
If you don't hear me.
...
Am I still lovable if you stop loving me?"
The sung delivery of that last line, combined with its burning question, is absolutely gut-wrenching.
"Space," slightly less poignant than these two tracks, is effective nonetheless. In its rapid tempo, jolting rhythm, and repetitive lyrics with slight variations, it encapsulates the anxious, obsessive thoughts that accompany trauma. It also emphasizes the sheer selfishness behind her husband's actions:
"There's no space for me,
There's just space for you.
There's no space for two,
Now there's more than two."
Finally, there is "Wallet," initially my least favorite song on the album. I now appreciate it much better for what it is-- righteous anger towards a man who did a terrible thing and got away with it. In its condemnation of the idea that money paid to one's family can actually replace a relationship, it feels more universal than many of the songs on "Love Letters." It's also one of the most emotionally vulnerable tracks on the album as it outlines clearly just what Anoushka has lost:
"That wallet that carried children
On big, strong daddy shoulders
It's not right to just leave behind
Everything left but your wallet
...
That wallet sang bedtime stories
And kissed me goodnight.
That wallet bought him out of
Doing what was right."
And then we come to the end of the album, where Ms. Shankar throws us a bit of a curveball. After consistently exploring the fury (and sorrow, and anxiety, and insecurity) of a woman scorned, the album ends with... A love song? Initially, "In This Mouth" certainly seems to be a romantic ballad-- and a beautiful, unique one, at that.
"My name feels safe in your mouth.
I like the way you call it out.
A baby bird upon your tongue,
Caressed,
Be loved."
It's unclear to whom the song is addressed. Is Ms. Shankar opening herself up to the possibility of new love, to a future beyond her current heartbreak? This seems like the most obvious interpretation. But the language used, that of comfort and security, implies a long-term, established relationship, not a fragile, budding romance. It seems unlikely Anoushka would feel "safe" with a new love so soon after such a traumatic end to her marriage.
Is she, then, implying that she retains some feelings of love for her ex-husband, in spite of all he's done? After the emotional wringer of the album's prior tracks, that seems difficult to believe. Yet that seems to be the case. The first hint toward this interpretation comes when the second verse introduces some uncertainty as to whether her love is returned:
"Can I call for you, can I cry out?
Can I call you mine, can I shout?
Does your name feel at home
In this mouth?"
Then the third verse asks whether her husband misses her the way she misses him:
"Have you not left part of you here with me?"
Then comes the bridge, with an intensity and complexity of emotion not seen before in the song. The brilliant composition, with the sitar playing dissonant notes to the same rhythm as the singing, aurally depicts this inner turmoil. Anoushka almost seems to regret the lingering affection she feels:
"Was it to torture or caress?
I confess
A loss of knowing.
Lost, lost as I've lost my senses.
Shackles around my feet,
Bound and free."
There is hurt and scarring complicating her feelings for her ex-husband. But the song does end with assurance of continued affection for and loyalty to its subject, and in so doing, confirms that it is indeed about him, and seems to ask him to return, saying she would welcome him:
"I carry you since you left
...
I carry you
On the tip of my tongue, curve of my breast,
Folded into my heart, seat of your soul.
I call for you, will you come?
Will you move into me, live in this mouth?"
It's unexpected given the anger she's expressed toward him earlier on, yet the revelation that she still loves and misses him makes the album as a whole that much more heartbreaking. While "In This Mouth" might seem at odds with the rest of the album, I have a good of idea why Ms. Shankar included it, and why she specifically placed it at the end of "Love Letters." In her commentary on "Land of Gold," she mentions that the piece "Say Your Prayers" was "too bleak, I couldn't just end the album there." Therefore, she composed "Reunion" to end the album on a note of hope and optimism, looking forward to the day when refugees might finally be able to return to their homeland. I believe that same sentiment may lie behind "In This Mouth." After an album full to the brim with the pain of separation and betrayal, Ms. Shankar closes with the hope of reconciliation and a reminder that love can last.
Now for the question-- where does "Love Letters" belong in my ranking of Anoushka's albums?
Simply by virtue of being so personal, I believe "Love Letters" could be Ms. Shankar's very best work. That being said, its emotionally brutal nature reduces its "re-listen" value. I certainly couldn't listen to it on repeat on the regular, as I do with "Traces of You," "Anourag," and "Land of Gold." So I remain unsure of where to place it, at the very top of the list or below a couple of more approachable, but less vulnerable works.
